If you have been following the blog you know that we had a very interesting and none to fun end to our previous living situation (remember "Sloth and Evil Warlord". Being thrown out onto the street, with only 3 days to find a new apartment in a foreign city/country/continent can be very stressful business. We found a new place to live, though we knew it was not ideal. The woman, Ana, with whom we moved in with was not only our roommate but also the owner of the apartment. She kind of creeped us both out when we went to check the place out in the way in which she grilled us about what we were like, but the place seemed okay, much larger than the previous apartment, and we thought maybe she was just being really selective about who she rented to. I could understand that. We needed a place asap, so what the hell, the price was very right. We moved in October 1st, were in Paraguay from the 12th to the 20th and ended up leaving this apartment by the 26th (i think that's the correct date). Not a whole lot of time living there before things got really bad again, and we decided to get the @uck out of there. This woman who we nicknamed both Scabby Donkey and The Warden (prison), is certifiably insane. I'm pretty sure she either is schizophrenic or has some form of social disorder such as bipolar or asperger's syndrome. I'm no doctor but that's my opinion. Regardless, if nothing else she is a major control freak. Like ummmm.. REALLY controlling. I can't stress that enough.
Picture of the Scabby Donkey/Warden. Scabby Donkey is a cockney english phrase for people incredibly hungry, Warden.. straight forward.. prison warden.
Here are a list of only a few crazy things she said to us:
"you told me you would not be cooking, I don't like the smell of food"
prior to moving in one of the strange comments she made was that she wanted to know what kind of food we eat and even forced me to tell her what I had cooked the night before (i'm a pretty damn good/trained chef by the way) She complained that a guy who had lived there before was really fat and cooked all the time thus "stinking" up the apartment. upon reflection i'm pretty sure the previous tenant was a normal guy who just had this human desire to, you know, eat a few times a day. Apparently we were paying for the use of the kitchen but not to actually use it for its intended purpose.
next quote
"you sit in the common area! you aren't to sit there unless I am not home. You are supposed to be invisible"
This she-devil actually told us while previewing the apartment that we could use this common area (living room) as we wished and that it was a very "lovely" place to sit. She did not recall saying this, but whatever! This is when we gave her the name "warden". The room we had rented was supposed to be our jail cell and the warden was to only allow us exercise time outside of the cell when she was not around. She worked about 3 hours a day a few days a week teaching math and as far as I could tell had no friends, family, or love interests (not surprising when you get to know her) so she was always there. There litteraly was not one day that we lived in that apartment where she did not let us know we had done something wrong. I told her living with her was like walking on egg shells, but I don't think the phrase translated. I know this is racially loaded but near the end when she was telling me all the things i was doing wrong I said to her "okay okay, yes masta, sho will do that massa" (think slavery if you didn't get it) I apologize to anyone who is offended by that. This woman knew how to push my buttons.
"I had an egg in the fridge and you moved it to another part of the fridge!" i just thought this was hilarious. First of all we did not move it, and it seems like a strange thing to get all worked up about. My lady said to her "you need to get another job and work more because you have WAY too much time on your hands to be looking for things to get upset about"
She accused us of being loud and insensitive because she came home one day and wanted to nap. We had a friend over, and were in the common area, but were not loud at all. She also could have just told us she wanted to nap, but this woman is very strange. We failed to read her mind and the following morning as I got ready to go to a cafe to watch the Arsenal match, all decked out in my Gunners jersey she stormed out of her room and accosted me. "Aaron, come in the kitchen right now! we have to talk!" What did I do wrong now Ana!.. she had gotten into a yelling argument with my lady the day before. That argument ended with her apologizing to us and saying that she knows she is too controlling and has a bad temper and would try to be nicer. She desperately needed us to live in that room because she told us she could not afford the apartment. It was always pretty clear that she didn't think much of me, and thus when she and I got into it things ended a bit differently. Probably because i'm a male. I think she was always skeptical of me, and i swear i'm not being paranoid. When she yelled at my lady she tried to make her sit down and scold her like a parent... She did not have any of that by the way. When she called me in to "talk" i was not as controlled as my better half. I stood over her to purposely make sure she did not forget i'm much larger than her... and that you don't talk to mature adults in the manner that she had been using. I raised my voice like I often do when attacked and let her know what i thought of her. I told her that i'm pretty sure she has mental problems and that we'd be moving out! Luckily my lady is an apartment finding wizard because we now have our own place in the historic district Cuidad Vieja. We live a block from the river and though its much more expensive, we are SOOO much happier. Never EVER again will this soon to be married couple have a roommate. Moving three times in 5 months is kinda shitty, however we like to see the upside of things.. we are getting a tour of the city. In addition, tough times that she and I go through together only strengthen our commitment, love, and partnership together. It hasn't always been easy living down here, but She and I are a damn strong couple now as a result. And its an experience I will always look back on fondly and feel fortunate to have had. I don't mean to make this sound like its my last post. more to come.. I need to get that Paraguay trip posted asap. Only bad part about the new apartment is more limited internet access therefore all blogging is now done at cafes. I promise i'll get those pics up soon because there is some really interesting stuff I want to share.
Till next time.
Picture of the Scabby Donkey/Warden. Scabby Donkey is a cockney english phrase for people incredibly hungry, Warden.. straight forward.. prison warden.
Here are a list of only a few crazy things she said to us:
"you told me you would not be cooking, I don't like the smell of food"
prior to moving in one of the strange comments she made was that she wanted to know what kind of food we eat and even forced me to tell her what I had cooked the night before (i'm a pretty damn good/trained chef by the way) She complained that a guy who had lived there before was really fat and cooked all the time thus "stinking" up the apartment. upon reflection i'm pretty sure the previous tenant was a normal guy who just had this human desire to, you know, eat a few times a day. Apparently we were paying for the use of the kitchen but not to actually use it for its intended purpose.
next quote
"you sit in the common area! you aren't to sit there unless I am not home. You are supposed to be invisible"
This she-devil actually told us while previewing the apartment that we could use this common area (living room) as we wished and that it was a very "lovely" place to sit. She did not recall saying this, but whatever! This is when we gave her the name "warden". The room we had rented was supposed to be our jail cell and the warden was to only allow us exercise time outside of the cell when she was not around. She worked about 3 hours a day a few days a week teaching math and as far as I could tell had no friends, family, or love interests (not surprising when you get to know her) so she was always there. There litteraly was not one day that we lived in that apartment where she did not let us know we had done something wrong. I told her living with her was like walking on egg shells, but I don't think the phrase translated. I know this is racially loaded but near the end when she was telling me all the things i was doing wrong I said to her "okay okay, yes masta, sho will do that massa" (think slavery if you didn't get it) I apologize to anyone who is offended by that. This woman knew how to push my buttons.
"I had an egg in the fridge and you moved it to another part of the fridge!" i just thought this was hilarious. First of all we did not move it, and it seems like a strange thing to get all worked up about. My lady said to her "you need to get another job and work more because you have WAY too much time on your hands to be looking for things to get upset about"
She accused us of being loud and insensitive because she came home one day and wanted to nap. We had a friend over, and were in the common area, but were not loud at all. She also could have just told us she wanted to nap, but this woman is very strange. We failed to read her mind and the following morning as I got ready to go to a cafe to watch the Arsenal match, all decked out in my Gunners jersey she stormed out of her room and accosted me. "Aaron, come in the kitchen right now! we have to talk!" What did I do wrong now Ana!.. she had gotten into a yelling argument with my lady the day before. That argument ended with her apologizing to us and saying that she knows she is too controlling and has a bad temper and would try to be nicer. She desperately needed us to live in that room because she told us she could not afford the apartment. It was always pretty clear that she didn't think much of me, and thus when she and I got into it things ended a bit differently. Probably because i'm a male. I think she was always skeptical of me, and i swear i'm not being paranoid. When she yelled at my lady she tried to make her sit down and scold her like a parent... She did not have any of that by the way. When she called me in to "talk" i was not as controlled as my better half. I stood over her to purposely make sure she did not forget i'm much larger than her... and that you don't talk to mature adults in the manner that she had been using. I raised my voice like I often do when attacked and let her know what i thought of her. I told her that i'm pretty sure she has mental problems and that we'd be moving out! Luckily my lady is an apartment finding wizard because we now have our own place in the historic district Cuidad Vieja. We live a block from the river and though its much more expensive, we are SOOO much happier. Never EVER again will this soon to be married couple have a roommate. Moving three times in 5 months is kinda shitty, however we like to see the upside of things.. we are getting a tour of the city. In addition, tough times that she and I go through together only strengthen our commitment, love, and partnership together. It hasn't always been easy living down here, but She and I are a damn strong couple now as a result. And its an experience I will always look back on fondly and feel fortunate to have had. I don't mean to make this sound like its my last post. more to come.. I need to get that Paraguay trip posted asap. Only bad part about the new apartment is more limited internet access therefore all blogging is now done at cafes. I promise i'll get those pics up soon because there is some really interesting stuff I want to share.
Till next time.
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